memoirs

as i remember the time we spent besides the lake
was it love or a feeling fake?
i gave up everything for you
was it worth giving all of it for your sake?
is there something you forgot to take?
or is there something you wana say?
i am speechles and explict
looking at your face
but i still dont know how to fake a mask like you
you wear many masks
every day a new side of you is revelaed
you were nice to me
then time turned me down
and you showed your true colours
without you life feels like a body with no heart
a cake which is not sweet
music without rythm
life without love..!
you have hurt me
broken my trust
but i guess i dont matter to you so much
dat its worth a guess......
i hope you understand me
and my love and improve some day
and face the misery i have faced
love and misery go hand and hand
but for you love is a play
you have played your part
now it my turn
to settle the account of love
i am your debtor
i have borrowed from you precious time
for which you charged a heavy intrest which shatterd me...
i want to settle this balance sheet of love
and clear my name from all the shit happening
but still in my heart there is a place for you
you have broken my heart
sharing my love to someone else is not my case
but despite this i hide my broken face with a laugh
with everyday the feelings for you grow tender,
and every moment makes my love go stronger
waiting besides the phone for it to just ring
for all the songs we used to sing
its strange but
i dont know how much i love you..!
at times little sometimes more.......my heart beats every second
for you to be in my arms
every minute i pray for you.......
was this love or is it fake?
even today
when i remember the time we spent across the lake
my brain trinks..did you love me or was this all fake?
please let me know the truth
do not hurt me everyday
Maybe I didnt treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didnt love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasnt died
Give me, give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied, satisfied
Maybe I didnt hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
Im so happy that you were mine
You were always on my mind
why dont you realize how much i love you
im yours.....
so please comer back to me
as i really love you....
you are only mine
no one can love you like me
you have not felt the touch yet
for you it was all a joke
but for me it wasnt
you have hurt me
but still i love you..........
Every night in my dreams
I see you. I feel you.
That is how I know you go on.
Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on.
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never go till we're one
Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
There is some love that will not
go away
You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
i gotta feeling ..that you will call me some day
perhaps not too late
and you too will love me..this time truly......
and will not leave me.......
We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback starts
I'm standing there
On a balcony in summer air
Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes.................

[inspirations-taylor swift,elvis presley,celine dion,jason mraz]

abode

its been years since you left me
and went away to the heavenly abode
i dont know if you miss me
but i do from the bottom of my heart
very truly
you make me cry every day
the tears leave back scars
my heart is full of wounds
paining too see you back
but i cant take it any more
that you are not here
but why did you leave me
without you
i dont feel like living this life
you have hurt me
by leaving me abrubtly
broken every promise
you had made
but still i love you
you are in my every day
staring up into the heavens
in this hell that binds your hands
wrestle with your darkness
i call your name
but do you hear wat do i say?
you have left me
i scream i shout
im going crazy without you
but still
i miss you
it pains
without you
its useless without you
but still i am living this life
juz to see you back someday.........
hope you come back someday....................

[inspirations-madonna]

time

i still love you
you are my smile
closed off from love
i didnt need the pain
once or twice was enough
and it was all in vain
but something happened for the very first time with you
my heart melted to the ground
found something true
and every ones looking around
thinking im going crazy
but i am still in love with you
they try to pull me away
but im still in your fantasy
my hearts bleeding with all wounds
without you
it has no life
no reason to live
i am alone
come and take me in your arms
you cut me open
and i keep bleeding love love love...
im so tired of being here alone
supressed by all fears
these wounds dont seem to heal
the pain juz doesnt go
until your here
but despite th trouble i have to undergo,
i still love you....

[inspirations-leona lewis and evansance]

my heart

i dont know if you love me
but i did
very truly
u broke my heart
even today i remember
every little fight we had
the way you would pull my leg
kiss me
hold me
i dont know
where have those times disappeared
but each moment
is very special for me
i dont know why
you left me
but i know
that i still love you
and i will
always keep loving you
coz
i wana
spend the rest of my life with you...

dad

you ve sen me grown up
taken my nausty tantrums
got me what i wanted
fulfilled my dreams
made me strong
ive ben your shadow
your son
your the one who i look up to
my role model
my best buddy
aint dere any problem i cant share with you ?
youre my daddy
the worlds best daddy
my naval doctor
i love you
when i was small you held my hand
today i promise
i will never
leave your hand
i love you dad

to my mom

i am lonely mom
come by my side
hug me
kiss me
take me in your arms
tell me stories
sing a song for me
its been ages
since i slept in your lap
i mis you
come back to me
i am missing you
come back...
come back my dear mother
i love you
cuddle me up in your arms
ill never let you go
well bake cake together
have the best of time
for ages and ages
but when i look back
you are gone
to a place beyond my reach
come back mom..
come back........
i love you mom

i love you

how do i tell you how much i love you
you are my world
my life
my confidence
at times when ive been low
you come up and show me the light
u make things so easy
when everythings not alright
you are my love
my life
the only person
i am mad about
but stil you act ignorant
about my feelings for you
ignore me
hurt me
and ill take all of it
coz i love you
but how do i tell you
dat how much do i love you...........

death

why are so many of us scared of death? is it coz we fear of seperation from our loved ones?why is it so hard to come to terms with the fact that the one we love is no more..?
i have lost many people who i have loved.my mother.my grandfather and a very close friend.i often wonder...why does this happen to me?
it is not very easy to overcome the death of someone who you have loved with your heart and soul.i today wish why didnt death embrace me instead of my mom...y did god do this to me..?
it is said god calls his loved ones early to himself....
but why doesnt the almighty understand that how much am i missing my loved one who he has taken under shelter?y is this happening to me only r to any1..?
y god? y are you doing this to us/why do u take awy people we love the most? y y y ?
iwant answers today.....i want an answer?

just a little bit of luck

recently the ssc results were announced..most of the students from all the three boards have done well.
but what about those students who have not done well?every 1 is not a scholar.why does society have the notion that marks are every thing? y is a persons personality and intelligence decided upon the basis of his marks in academics?morever peer pressure and parental pressure contribute to this. students who are not able to cope up with this pressure go in to dep depression.sometimes if their efforts do not show colours,they even end up commiting suicide.
society should understand that marks are not everthing in life.we have examples of eons like thomas elva edison who were weak in studies but went on to give the world great inventions..........so parents please understand your child......do not presurize him into being a topper..let him do what is heart says........that is the only way your child will prosper in life.......and become the best in his own way.......
hence it is quoted,"doing what i want to do..gives me tremendous pleasure."

life

the city whimmed with it 's hustlle and bustle has new adventures to explore every day.every day a loath of people begin a new life,some get stranded unableto cope to society"s pressures......but nothing stops this city .people go and come,incidents take place,but the city has a hard stand.
man is a lonely hunter.though he may spend all his day at work and in play,sorrounded by people-friends,foes,acquaintances, he knows in his heart that he is alone.
the constant rat race at work takes up most of his time.he has no time left for himself nor others.a decade ago.....family used to be peoples first priority..but today work and other activities take up most of our time that there is no time left for family.
for him work is a daunting task though,but his survival is also a must
man has changed............but change is nature........
he is gasping for air between sheets of daily accounts and household bills.........money has become life for him.there is no life for him without money.
he will not realize how lonely he is until he takes himself off to the lonely space
man still has no time in this city for family.........
but hope is a whisper that lives between his lines moving him to labour on........
for man must breathe hope to live,and live to earn,and in this alone today will he find the breath of his life.
perhaps one day man comes back to home and family.....................

to mj......luv ya!

its been more than a week since the king of pop,michael jackson passed away.he died by the sudden onset of a heart attack.ever since the news of the king of pop broke out...radio stations have been continously playing his top songs from albums like thrillera and on.fans cant beatr the fact that their idol is no more.indeed mj was an idol for music lovers.he did every act with a touch of perfection......not only was he very focused on his work but also created a sense of respect in every ones heart through his breakthrough performances.he is known for his style of dancing.even at the age of 50,a few days before he passed away...he was rehersing for his world tour ...and no could doubt his performance even at the age of 50.many legends like him have come like elvis presley..who are alive in our hearts long after they passed away.my heart is all of sympathies for his three children who have lost their legendry father at such a young age.it was indeed very hard to find a down to earth performer like mj.
we love you mj..!you will live in our hearts for ever...............

to my love

what is love..?it is attraction to a person.no matter how many flaws a person has..when u start loving him you forget all his negative points and only look at his plus points.....it is said you should love a person for what he is..his negative and positive aspects.love iswonderful for some......& depressing also for some people.it feels strange to see the way how people fall in love so easily today............people are desperate for love dese days.....

dey say'mariages are made in heaven...........butwhat happens when dese marriages break.....? or rather the relationships break?what is the result of a break up............?what are the problems in a relationship.....................

morever the common problem of adjustment........a friend of mine just got hooked up.......she was crazy after a certain guy........her parents had a rather tiresome marraige which culminated into a divorce........but she was still a faithful coy about love......she dated this guy for 5 years......den dey brk up..........she came to know that the guy was dating another girl behind her back and had made out with her..........she was shatterd..........she threatened to kill her herself..cut her hand...............she went into a lot of depression...........

i was shocked on seeing her condition.after all where did her so called love take her.......? she didnt give it a second thought before getting into a relationship..........i pity her...........i hope people get into their senses......and show a level of maturity.......relationships are not a joke...!

but very few people know the true meaning of love........

this reminds me of the song my love by kevin lytte

Saw you last night again in a vision looking so lovely. Can't believe you took my breath away, love that I'm feeling. I reached out to touch you then you were gone again my friendI hope we were lovers, maybe someday even more than friends.

This love that I got, spirits fly so high, straight to the mountain top.No turning back, the river's run dry.My love will never dry (trust me believe me it's true)My love will never dry (trust me believe me it's true)My love will never dieMy love will never die............................

cant say wether i believe in love or not.......but i am agasht looking at the way my friend is suffering because of love................not true to the so called word and world of "love"
the so called world of love creates a mixed emotion in my mind...........

many people have loved and lost............love makes us people mad...........still i dont understand why do we fall in love....

love love love...........

lost

i am standing on the platform at churchgate station.it is a burning 45 degrees.i watch idly as people scurry around,carrying bags,dragging crying children by the arm or greeting each other with real joy!the train was half an hour late........people running around.the hustle and bustle.
suddenly an accident takes place on the road......a motorbike rams into an old man.he is severely injured......blood flowing everywhere......no 1 is bothered but.......he is lying on the ground for the past 15 min.........no 1 cares........gone are the splendid times when people used to really care for each other.....today its only..me and myself for every individual.........finally i take the initiative of taking him to the hospital.however,he succumbes to his injuries......
i did not know who this person is.........which caste does he belong to........it was out of humanity that i forged out to help him......i feel this world has lots its glory.........no value for love and people..........this one incident changed my view to towards todays youth........they are least botherd about others..........its not omly about the youth.....most people throughout the world have fallen prey to tis attitude..........just donk look beyond yourself.........no value for friends and family...........
with these thoughts in mind i go back to the station....a few moments lter the station is empty..only a few stragglers hang about........this was my first visit to the city.........and i can say to my displeasure..........there are very few in a million of people who really care..........
the world has changed.....the city heartless attitude has shell shocked me...........
finally the train comes in,the tableaux breaks......everyone hastens to find their place.........
i leave the station humming the song in my mind.......all i wana say is that they dont really care about us..........
change is nature but such change is shocking.............................

the alchemy of words

i met him at the railway station......we bumped into each other...! and we just couldnt get our eyes of each other.....the three special words had been utterd not by mouth but in our minds,flown out like so many barbs and there was no calling them back. it was such a beautiful feeling.the tapestry of images the words created,savoured the sounds,the feelings the words aroused.there was nothing more fulfilling and delightful.suddenly our eye to eye contact broke....his father came and took him away....much to my displeasure.i went back with a smile on my face.perhaps i was bitten by the love bug.hard to believe,but yes it had hit me.every single day i thought about him.perhaps i was madly in love with him.we both were too amazed at the look of each other at the station that we did not tell each other a word.......every day i went to the station .perhaps he would come.2 months passed by.........i couldnt resist myself..
it was a rainy day......i was sitting with dad in the balcony..and opened the newspaper.....suddenly i saw his picture........he had died in an accident.i just couldnt believe my eyes.....my first love..1i so wished i had spoken to him that day..told him about my feelings...contacted him.i lost my first love....
if i had said those three words..."i love you"maybe i wouldnt have to face the hard to believe truth..dat he is no more.....
i dont feel like living my life without him....my world is ruined....i have loved and lost.....how can god be so merciless.........
today when i recaptulate those wonderful moments......when i first saw him.........i feel those three words are indeed strange things............."i love you"
they mean so much........but make you face so many problems............its complicated..........
love..love..love............why do people fall in love
this reminds me of the song...........wise men say only fools rush in...but i cant help falling in love with you......love entices,seduces,cajoles.....................
love is strange..!

life after 26/11

it has been eight months since the awry terrorist attack at two of the posh hotels of mumbai........qasab has been caught and the trials are on.......the jury still has to give thier verdict......shall qasab be given a death penalty or should he be given life imprisionment..........what will we get even though qasab is hanged ? how will the wounds heal............young children have been left orphaned............sole bread earners gone...........can qasab 's death give us al this back..........?
which religion teaches to kill people mercilessly in the name of god..?god himself created his children why would he kill them for no reason?
india is in its peak stage of development..but alas dese terrorist attacks are shattering us down.............we have gone thru enuf..........an air india plane was hijacked a decade ago by the al qaida terror group..a young newly married couple was killed...........and the ministers had to give into there demands to save the people.............this world is soon becoming filthy to live in....................isnt dere any humanity......?till wen will be taking all this...............hope dat the judges take a mature decision not only to kill qasab but also a remedy to stop this injustice and make the world a better place................cz unles we dont kill the devil inside us..............terrorism wont die.....first kill the terror ist inside you....till when will be fighting on the name of caste and creed...........?the gujrat riots of 2001 killed numerous perople.............parsis as wel as non parsis...........isnt this a kind of terrorism............asians are under the scanner 24/7 post 9/11..........the recently released movie new york proves dis.............how a man is tortured by the fbi and driven to take revnge by the means of terrorism............anger is everywhere........

all dis reminds by of the thought provoking song by michael jackson...called man in the mirror.............
"if u wana make the world a bettetr place.just look at yourself and make the change.........."

the ganges flows serene in benares................however its ever changing colours.. and forms..........its little eddies and the riples that a fllying bird causes as it swoops down to touch the flowing water in pasing
the ganges is considerd a holy river...but we only pollute it................in the same way..........by killing people in the name of religion we destroy the value of love,humanity and beauty of god

so called love

falling in love in teenage is a common trend today........you like a guy and just go mad after him....in the bargain if you dont get him as your partner.....you end up hurting yourself...........some people go to extremes..........but forget everything else.....why is caste such an issue before getting into a relationship..just the other day i read an article how a guy was forced to convert to islam before marrying his lady love.......who was a muslim.......why is our society so narrowminded..........morever there a lot of problems adjusting in an inter caste marraige......adjustment.change is nature..........people just grow up.........love is blind in front of caste creed nationality.............till when will there be fights on the name of caste?much to our fate...........isnt india a secular and democratic nation........?people think 10 times before getting into a relationship even though you like the guy..just because of his caste............hes not a hindu.hes a parsi r a muslim..r vice versa..grow up people...............